Butterflies

by Natalie Shaw


Ice cream. That’s what makes the world go round really, none of this love crap. Don’t be fooled by the promises, games or “I’ll text you tomorrow’s,” they are only a poor man’s gelato. They aren’t deserving of your time, you are better then that. And so, in light of Cupid’s ridiculous day (some call it Valentine’s day, others deem it vomit day – your pick really) I’ve got to thinking. Why are so many girls spending this lovely (crappy) holiday alone with ice cream? Or chocolate or copious amounts of champagne – pick your vice. But more importantly, why are they criticized for this?

To be single wasn’t a crime the last time I checked. Although to be fair, I didn't actually check. It’s just common knowledge. Do the math. You’re single, you are by yourself, doing what you what want to do, when you want to do it and you answer to no one. How is this not amazing?
They say you should learn to love yourself before you are capable of loving someone else. Well then, this is you loving yourself. Buy a bunch of roses, a box of chocolates or a god damn teddy bear and give it to YOU. And if anyone asks, it was from a secret admirer. (I’ve got your back.)


In all seriousness now, when it comes down to it, the reason most of us girls are “alone” this vomit day, is for one reason. We have standards. High ones. Sometimes impossible to reach ones, unless you climb a ladder standing on a stool and reach way over-head. But that’s okay; you’re not alone (in the grander sense of course, we’ve already established you are in fact, alone.) We all have them. Myself especially. My sister has said to me for a very long time now, “You are impossible!” “Why not give him a chance?” and my personal favourite, “You are too picky.” What she has failed to realise however, is that I whole- heartedly agree. I am picky. I won’t settle for someone who doesn't make me laugh, or who doesn't understand the need to turn up on time (or in some cases at all. You know who you are. Arse.) I won’t settle for someone who is incapable of comprehending chivalry and I wont settle for anything less then butterflies. Maybe that’s silly and maybe that’s my inner-bookworm coming out. Or maybe, that’s what makes a female the scary “HM” that makes a guy run for the hills. High Maintenance.


All of us deny it. We don’t want the label nor do we want the connotations it brings. To be categorisied as a “hell of a lot of work.” It’s not the nicest description. But why the hell not? I am a lot of work. So this is the way I see it.


We have to work our way from the bottom to get anywhere in life. The dreams we have are rarely handed over on a silver platter, unless you look like Mila Kunis. Even then, the poor girl has to put up with Ashton Kutcher. (I’m totally kidding, lucky bitch.) We find ourselves in shitty jobs, unpaid internships, and sometimes, on coffee runs. Once we finally reach our goals, however, this doesn't matter. We almost feel thankful for the hard times, because we survived. We worked for it and we achieved it. The same can be said for a lot of circumstances, including friendships. With this in mind, why shouldn’t someone have to work to be with us? What makes us any less of an achievement? We should be chased, courted and treated right. Doors should be opened – and knocked on, none of this texting or honking from out front business – and efforts should be made.

If you find yourself still doubting this motive, then I advise you watch “Friends.” Monica is the definition of the dreaded HM. She, like you, refuses to hold this title. She tries her best to convince herself and her friends, that really, she is laidback. So laidback in fact, that her boyfriend, Chandler, is dragged, by her, to the coffee shop to recite a speech, by her, about just how laid back she is. Obviously. Much to her dismay, Chandler admits that she is a little bit HM. But then he says something that makes the letters seem much less scary. He says, “...You’re passionate, and that’s good...they can say you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay, because I like maintaining you.” Well said, my friend; well said.

So finally let me leave you with a little bit of advice. Don’t apologise for being picky, high maintenance or having high standards. Don't apologise for being alone. Don’t settle for anything less then you deserve. Wait for the one who tries his hardest, who is willing to change for the better, and who makes you laugh. Not the one who is the better guy, but the one who makes you a better girl. Don’t be caught up in this hallmark bullshit, it’s not Valentines day, or even vomit day for that matter, it’s just Saturday. And on Saturday, I won't apologise for being me. But I might be swayed by ice cream.

Nat x x x